By Stephanie, Positive Women (Australia) and the People Living with HIV Speakers Bureau

Good morning ladies and gentlemen. It is an honor to be standing here in front of 500 positive women, I am blown away.

My name is Stephanie and I was born HIV+ 15 years ago in Australia.

My story is about living as a teenager, in a nation that is often referred to as 'The Lucky Country.'

Lucky perhaps ... if you don't have HIV.

Unlucky... because in a land of beautiful and unique living things ... kangaroos, koalas and platypus... teenagers like me live in fear.

You may think that because the medical care is so good in Australia, the social side would be good too. But you would be wrong.

When HIV/AIDS first arrived in our country, the medical and community response was strong and immediate. Medical teams were mobilized into action and dedicated AIDS wards were established in our hospitals.

When I was playing with building blocks, there was an HIV/AIDS advertising campaign with images of 'The Grim Reaper' bowling over men, women and children in a horrific 'bowling alley of death.' It dominated our television screens and is still remembered for its graphic images.

The wider community was so struck with fear, they could do nothing but try to ‘get rid of’ the diseased people. Shun them from society.

So today, I'm not like the other schoolgirls.

Well, I am… but I also have to deal with secrecy, discrimination, uneducated attitudes at school, what to tell my negative friends, and the constant fear of being found out.

A fairly normal activity for an Aussie teenager - sleeping over at a friends' house - demands more consideration than simply packing pajamas and a toothbrush. It becomes a major issue, with having to hide medications from friends and their family.

But the very fact that people like me are still here, shows that people with HIV are some of the strongest people in the world...

... The survivors who have lived through the war of HIV that the newly diagnosed have no concept of.

I was born during that war, and survived. No one expected me to live, because of ineffective treatments back then.

Medications are much more effective now, but what can make life harder than an otherwise caring Australian community can imagine, is that attitude and stamp society have put onto my mum and me.

For any teenager, high school is hard. But the cloud of secrecy looms over my head every day. I've heard the worst-of-the-worst AIDS jokes, even at the private catholic school I used to attend.

I separated myself from people who told those jokes - which was pretty much every student there.

And when I told the Vice Principal that I was positive I was told to leave, unless everyone was informed. I was shocked and horrified to see my nightmare had come true.

Even though it is illegal, the school continued to discriminate against me - and told all the staff of my HIV status.

I bailed out, knowing I could not win.

I sometimes wonder whether some of my positive friends would have stayed to fight.

(Pause)

There are many heart-breaking stories of little kids being humiliated because of a disease they inherited.

But the HIV teenagers of Australia are not going down without a fight.

And it is sad that, having lived through 15 years in a social 'war zone,' growing up during the cold harsh beginning of HIV ... there has to be more blood sweat and tears to live a happy social life.

The only time in my life when I don’t have to be scared of discrimination is once a year at a national camp for HIV+ children and their families, called Camp Goodtime.

We know as we enter camp, we are going to be 100% understood and loved.

But I can tell you now, there is nothing like the bond between positive teenagers. When we get together there is no stopping the laughter, tears, support and stories of past camps and members who have died.

It is a terrifying feeling on the plane to wonder, who is missing this year. Hoping and praying that if they are missing it’s because they’re just busy/ But knowing you’ll have the support of positive friends to help you deal with the grief, gets you through that harsh experience every year.

I will never forget a speech given by 16 years old Shannon at a camp remembrance ceremony, where we release balloons containing messages of love for family and friends who have died.
I was ten years old.

Shannon had just lost his parents and he spoke with such love, his voice made everyone go silent - and with the knowledge that everyone at camp would get him through this tough time, he spoke about his hardship and his parents for the first time since they had died.

He was the oldest positive survivor at camp, and he shared with us a saying that gets me through everyday.

(Pause)

“Those who matter don’t mind and those who mind don’t matter” .

(Pause)

That saying has stuck with me all this time. And now it is my turn to inspire the younger ones with the same words that got me through.

This camp means more to positive teenagers than their medicine. And it is horrible that no one will fund it.

Camp Goodtime means acceptance, love... and the power of being able to speak freely - without fear.

We may be known as 'The Lucky Country,' but we are a country where fear still has a strong hold, and although our education system is good by world standards... the HIV education in school is next to nothing.

Many positive children in Australia are not told they have HIV until their late teens, because their parents are afraid to face the illness.

Imagine being the kid at school telling the AIDS jokes, and then one day finding out you have HIV.

If education were better at schools, this child would know that they are not a 'dirty infected child.' They would know that they can live successful and fulfilling lives in the community.

If it wasn’t for one person here - my mentor, Bev Greet - my country would have taken a long time to recognize women and children as HIV positive people.

Bev stood up against the stereotypical view and introduced people to the women with HIV.

She helped start the first women’s support group. If it wasn’t for her, I wouldn't be here introducing you to the positive teenagers of Australia.

She opened my eyes to making the change yourself instead of waiting for someone else to.

For it is the words from the people who have lived, that will make a difference.

Today I ask you to take my story, and use your own, to make a difference! Speak up for your rights because you are worth it. You are living proof that you can make it in this harsh world with HIV.

I would not be here if it wasn’t for my Mum and my supportive family - and without knowing it, my negative friends, because they showed me how ignorant people can be.

Also my positive friends - getting me through every hard day at school - every death, tear and guilty moment.

I’d also like to make a special mention of the HIV Speakers Bureau, in Australia - because they taught me how to speak...

How to find the strength, and the right words to touch people’s hearts. They truly know ... the power of words and shared experiences.

To YWCA for making this journey comes to for me, thank you.

Ladies and Gentlemen: go out today with the power of speech.

Don’t let anyone try to take away your power through fear or discrimination... and remember, you are stronger than you could ever know.

My name is Stephanie I have lived through the war of HIV and I have something to say to the world.

(Pause)

Do you?